Irony

I can't seem to describe my life right now or rather the feelings that I'm feeling right now. Heard from my seniors in the 4th year of my course that 3rd year will be busy and challenging and yet at the same time fun. I tried preparing myself for it by being organised and finishing work one week ahead of time so that I would have some personal time to myself. However, as the academic year is fast approaching to an end, I am beginning to feel that I am losing steam. I still recall telling Liyan that as long as we do NOT lose steam at the end of the semester and get past this HUGE hurdle, that's all it matters right now!

However, I find myself trying to find a focus! My fingers are crossed hoping that history will NOT repeat itself (For those dear to me, you'd know what I am talking about and please keep it to yourself!). I am afraid of failures! What's more my future looks bleak! I do not even know when I will return to Adelaide next year! I hate it! Yes, I have to admit that I am a control-freak and need to be in-control of my life. As my younger sis have this quote, "A person is like sand. The harder you grip it, the more it will slip away". I know its good at times to take a step back and see things from another angle, another perspective. This then gives meaning to life.

However, in my current situation, I wish I can throw everything aside and return home where I am fondly cuddled and hugged! As each day past, the feeling of homesickness is starting to sink in. You must be saying, I have been here for about a year (9 months to be exact), I would have gotten used to it. But, I am a girl who is emotionally-attached to her family and friends and seriously, I yearn for the day when I know that when I return home, I can give bear hugs whenever I want, call my friends for a time of chit-chat without having to worry about assignments, randomly arranging to meet-up for a cup of tea knowing that you can choose from heaps of 24-hour coffeeshops and speaking in Singlish and no one will ask if you are speaking Greek. Do not get mistaken! I am not finding fault with life in Adelaide or the friendships that I have made and forged, its just that I miss home and I want to get home real bad!

Lord, I need your presence here. Please grant me the strength to be able to continue running the race that is set before me. Help me not to lose steam at this juncture, Lord. My shoulders are heavy from the burden that I am carrying. I'm lost. Please guide me, dear Lord. I pray and ask that you will bless my family and friends back home with good health! In His name, Amen.